On the Benefits of Making Mistakes

Last week, my boss and I discussed my 2010 job review. I wrote a few pages, she filled out a rating sheet, and then we sat around and talked about how awesome I am. No, I'm not kidding--she actually used words like "awesome" and "fantastic" and phrases like "you're so good at X, Y, and Z" and "I couldn't be happier"! Needless to say, I really enjoyed it--it's always nice to receive positive praise in exchange for a lot of hard work!

In my "narrative" portion of the review, I wrote mostly about how difficult it was this year to gain the depth of knowledge that I needed to do my job well. I also wrote a little bit about how I struggled to improve my communication with my boss by learning when to ask questions and what questions to ask.

But it's what I didn't write about that's been on my mind this week: the benefits of failure. I'm a perfectionist by habit, a terrible nitpicker who hates to let projects go. I used to think that my perfectionism made me a careful, detail-oriented, conscientious worker. I used to think that it made me a better writer, a better baker (well, that one might actually be true), and a better person.

But now I just think that it means that I'm afraid to make mistakes and have other people see my failings. It means that some part of me believes that I have to work harder and have higher standards than everyone else just to be a valuable, productive, and likable person.

But at this job, I've learned to let go of some of my perfectionism--I've had to. When I first started, I knew so little about my department and its processes and its many (many, many, many!) aspects that my days were riddled with mistakes. I had to let go of my perfectionism just to stay sane.

But I was also able to let it go in part because I began to  develop a meaningful rapport with my director. During my first months on the job, I was terrified whenever I had to tell her I had made a mistake. I thought that whenever I told her there had been a typo in an advertisement or a forgotten email or a misdirected student that she would think that she had made a terrible mistake in hiring me. I thought that each mistake would mean that she would consider me unfit to write emails or work in an office or even live in civilized society!

But, in time, I learned that telling her honestly about those mistakes actually improved our relationship. Now that she knows that I'm willing to fess up to my mistakes and learn from them, I think that she has more respect for my integrity and character: she knows that I can admit a failing and willingly start again with her at square one. My mistakes strengthened our bond because I know that I'm allowed to be human and fallible at work, and she knows that I'm consistently upfront with her about my work and its results.

Though I wasn't looking forward to writing or discussing my annual review, it turned out to be a valuable exercise. Naturally, I'm pleased with the feedback I received--hey, who doesn't want to see a row of check marks beneath a "(5) Excellent" column?--but I'm more pleased with what the process has taught me about myself, work relationships, and the benefits of letting perfectionism go.

A Few of My Favorite Things: The Hippie Edition

As I've mentioned earlier, it's been a busy month. First came an editing job on a tight deadline, which was followed by an intense drafting process for an essay that was due to my writing group, and then there was yet another editing job. (Oy! Freelance work seems to come in threes, just like deaths!)

Basically, I haven't had a lot of down time since January, so I've been trying to take it a little easy this weekend by enjoying a few of my favorite things. So, in the spirit of Mrs. E's "favorite things" posts over on Easy Street, here's one of my own--but a Lawrence hippie edition!

I've been watching a whole lot of Slings & Arrows this weekend. It's a Canadian comedy about a Shakespearean theater company struggling through various artistic and financial crises following the death of their artistic director. The former artistic director returns as a ghost to collaborate with (read: torment) his old friend and replacement as the company puts on Hamlet.

 
I love, love, LOVE this show--it's so smart, so well written, and so damn literate that I can hardly stand it. It's intensely funny (one of the main writers was an actor on both Kids in the Hall and Saturday Night Live), and the characters are amazing. I am so sad that there are only eighteen episodes of it (three seasons at six episodes each)--I'm almost done already!

So why's it hippie-tastic? Helloooo! It's all about arts funding and dramatic actors and romance and Shakespeare--with that earring, you know he wasn't precisely conventional.

I've been listening to a band called Pentangle. They're a British folk rock band from the late 1960s and early 1970s. I've heard them described as "folk-jazz" and "acid-folk." Yup, hippie-tastic.

I've been using my new Neti pot since my "seasonal" allergies have decided to make their appearance in this unusually warm February weather. It's been helping a lot with what I believe to be dust and mold allergies.

Why's it hippie-tastic? Neti pots originated in the Ayurvedic and yogic medical traditions. Also, look at this guy.

I've also been loving my newest thrift store find (wearing second-hand clothes is distinctly earth-loving and hippie-ish, by the way):

It's a fantastic khaki-colored blazer, which I got from the Salvation Army for $4.99. It's perfectly preserved and made of a somewhat yucky-feeling, stiff polyester-cotton blend (it's obviously from the late '70s or early '80s), but that just means it's the kind of garment that's going to last, like, forever. And it looks damn good with a colorful, flowy scarf; skinny jeans; and cowboy boots.

And last but obviously not least, I made homemade granola for the first time. I was buying Kroger's 100% Natural Cereal and eating entire boxes in three or four sittings--it was not a cost-effective way to live! So I thought I'd try my own version adapted from Alton Brown's recipe, a famous and somewhat complicated Allrecipes.com recipe, and what I had in my cabinet.

It turned out really, really, really well. I had a hard time not licking the spoon even before it was baked, and it's pretty fantastic now that it's cool and ready for some milk or yogurt.

Yum. Hippie life never looked so delicious. (See the recipe below.)


It's been a fun weekend, but I'm not looking forward to getting back to the grind tomorrow. But at least I can munch on granola before work tomorrow, and no one needs to know what I'm listening to on my iPod. More songs about knights and thyme and meadows, please!

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Lesley's Granola

5 cups rolled oats
1 cup sliced almonds
1 cup sunflower seeds
3/4 cup shredded coconut
1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 tablespoon cinnamon
1/2 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 cup craisins

Stir together rolled oats, almonds, sunflower seeds, and coconut in a large bowl.

Combine the vegetable oil, salt, honey, and brown sugar in a pan and bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and add the cinnamon and vanilla extract to the liquid mixture, stirring well.

Stir the liquid mixture into the dry ingredients. Spread the granola on two baking sheets covered in aluminum foil. Bake at 300 degrees for 30 minutes, stirring and flipping the granola every five to ten minutes to avoid clumps and stickage.

Allow the granola to cool on the pan before mixing together with the craisins. Serve hot with milk or cold with milk, yogurt, or cereal. Or just stick your face in the bowl and gnash--whatever floats your boat!

Dear Blog,

I miss you. I really do. I want to write posts for you about snow days and this really good new sugar cookie recipe I found and Eat, Pray, Love and walking in the cold and writing essays and . . .


*sigh*

You get the idea.

But things have been busy here in Lesley Land. I took on an editing job last week that had a very tight deadline. It was a fun project, but it kept me busy all last week. Regular work has been unbelievably busy because of the snow days, and I've been furiously playing catch up for a solid week now. And then last week my writing group members decided that it was time for me to wrap up the essay I've been working on and submit it, so I've been furiously churning out 1,500 words per night all week long--and I'm still not done! Now I'm hoping to whittle it down and send it off early Saturday afternoon.

So, blog, know that I miss you. Know that I keep having ideas for you and writing them down, right before I go off and edit and/or write and/or work really hard and/or go to the gym to stay sane.

Anyway, I'll visit again soon.

Much love,
Lesley